Date: 2018-04-16 14:15
I am wondering how the business will suffer during a transition that will be painful. I do feel strongly for my wife but I cant tolerate the the mayhem caused by her alcohol use much longer.
I so understand, I 8767 m constantly nervous about what 8767 s walking through the door every evening, he 8767 s so mean and angry. Last weekend he for the first time in ten years put his hands on me. I called the police, he had warrents, so we both thought one being a felony however, they are nowhere to be found, so my out backfired. I hate my life. He will not leave. We no longer are intimate 9 years now, we don 8767 t even sleep in the same room. Feel so alone and stuck
Your need to know is normal, but dangerous. He 8767 s not there to examine, thank God, so all you have is you. The risk is that if you spend enough time looking for an explanation within yourself you may come to suspect you actually caused his attack. You did use the word 8775 triggered 8776 which has a feeling of cause. However, each of us is responsible for our own triggers. The trigger for his violent attack might have been something as simple as your having breasts that doesn 8767 t mean you caused anything. There are some beasts out there.
My wife successfully underwent rehab before we got married and stayed sober for several years, so I have found the details of the clinic she attended and hope to have her undergo some treatment there in the coming weeks. I need to think about how to get some extra support for when I 8767 m travelling, as I have come to the realisation (from reading your site and others) that my wife isn 8767 t going to miraculously recover from her addiction and lead a perfectly healthy life.
We separated 65 months ago when I drunkenly chased him around the house, taunting him and lashing out verbally. He tried to hide in the bathroom but I pushed the door open to find him sitting on toilet crying out, 8775 It 8767 s OVER. I can 8767 t do this anymore! He just kept saying it, sobbing into his hands, rubbing at the anguish in his eyes. And even through my drunken anger and fear, I felt something break inside me. I had BROKEN this kind, thoughtful, funny man, a man who was just flawed enough to be interesting.
He has always blamed his actions on other things. His job, his car, his lack of money, his parents, the cats, the patio furniture. He doesn 8767 t ever own up to it. One time when he was really drunk he admited to me that when he gets really angery he can 8767 t tell the difference between what he is mad at and me. That scares me still. If he can 8767 t tell the difference between me and what he is mad at then what is going to stop him from hurting me? Nothing.
Anything 8767 s possible, but continued alcohol abuse alone could account for the worsening blackouts, without the meth.
Thanks for reading, Amy. And thanks for sharing and writing and helping us to make sense of this. I want more advice. At ACoA meetings we 8767 re not supposed to cross talk or comment on each others 8767 shares but I am so hungry for someone to tell me what is the best loving things I can do for my husband when the demons come out.
She turns things around and makes it seem like I 8767 m trying to control her, but I believe I do that for the greater good of her health, and because I do care about her. Her family has never been any help, and has never set a good example. (mother the same, but now sober for 65 years, military brother, and father who died 65 years ago ( and who my wife pines for regularly.
Al-anon tells you it is a disease, and we should detach and stay and look after ourselves., Dr neill you say run, I believe it is the best decision to go in the long run, but why is it so hard. I know I am obviously co-dependent and am trying to break the cycle I dont want to be that person anymore, with him or the kids, I realise now it is about me too. When I am rejecting him now physically, how do I explain